DSM to LAX: Playing Catch-Up

Five almost six months later, here I am with another post. I haven't done a very good job keeping up with my own self this year, so for anyone that enjoys following my (sporadic and inconsistent) updates, I sincerely apologize.

I started this blog when I first moved to Los Angeles two years ago as a way to keep my family and close friends updated on whatever it was I was doing out here. Truth be told, it was my Grandpa Arlin that actually sparked the idea. I recall hearing that he made mention that he "just wasn't quite sure what I was up to" and that bothered me. I wanted to be able to tell stories of my life here to everyone I know and love, but that wasn't humanly possible. There are simply not enough hours in a day, not to mention the two hour time difference really complicated things. (Excuses, excuses.) And so, I decided to publicly "journal" my experiences as a way to tell my all my stories to everyone at one time. This way, when I spoke to family and friends on the phone, we would have more time to talk about other things.

Great idea! Or so I thought until I fell off my own bandwagon, of course. I'm not one for giving up on things, so here I am once again with hopes that I'll do better this time.

Grandpa Arlin and me hanging out at our favorite place, the Iowa State Fair.

As most of you know, my Grandpa Arlin passed away a little over a month ago, on July 10th. I will never forget that extremely devastating call from my mother who had no other choice than to tell her oldest daughter the terrible news. In a matter of seconds, my life came to a screeching halt; I was living out my worst nightmare. The truth is, my greatest fear about moving to LA was being hundreds of miles from home when something as tragic as this might happen. I guess I was sort of in denial. Even though I knew this was a chance I was taking, a big part of me didn't think I would ever see the day.

"I drive your truck. I roll every window down. And I burn up every back road in this town.
I find a field, I tear it up til all the pain's a cloud of dust."

The trip I made home that week to be with my family, mourn our great loss together, and also celebrate a life well-lived, will forever be one of my fondest memories. I know this seems a little backwards considering death isn't something that makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside, but this one week (out of all 52 weeks in the year) was a turning point in my young adult life.

Looking through old photographs.

Death is something that stops us in our tracks and makes us really think about the meaning of life. It also has the tendency to make us reflect upon our own lives, which is exactly what happened to me. That extremely sad, whirlwind (and blur) of a week in Iowa, really got me thinking about everything. What am I doing in Los Angeles? Am I happy? Do I like my job? Do I feel fulfilled? Is it worth sacrificing everything to succeed in my career? Where do I see myself in five, 10, or even 15 years? Am I living out God's plan for me? These were all questions that played over and over and over again in my mind. It's like standing in a mirror with your entire heart and soul exposed and being forced to analyze every last piece of your inner-most being.

In a world that's ever-changing, it's nice to know some things stay the same. :)

After a lot of reflection, conversations and prayers, I came to the conclusion that no, I am not using the gifts God has given me the way He had intended. This doesn't mean I regret moving, hate what I'm doing, or think I'm wasting my time. I wholeheatedly believe I'm right were I'm supposed to be right now; that there is a method to what sometimes (or a lot of times) feels like madness.

This seems fitting :)

Through my Grandpa's passing, God taught me A LOT about love. He showed me first hand the importance of relationships, whether it be your family, your significant other, your friends, or your acquaintances. He also reminded me how much those things mean to me. At the end of the day, who is there to celebrate your triumphs, offering a listening ear, or console you when you're down? Definitely not your job or your material possessions. Just God and your loved ones. I believe life has very little meaning without a strong faith and a lot of love.

"The Sheldahl 7"
Mollie, Joe, Alex, Olivia, me, Madeline and Marshal

No, I haven't made any drastic decisions just yet. However, I am excited to say that I have officially registered with NASM to get my personal training and fitness nutrition specialist certifications! Health and fitness have always been a passion of mine, and I could see a future for myself in this industry. I'm still not exactly sure what God has in store for my life, but I find peace in knowing that He is in control. I'm excited (and slightly nervous) to see where my journey will lead me!