Wednesday nights have become my new Sunday mornings. Huh? That makes no sense, Mallorie. Well what I mean is that since moving to LA, I have found a church home that meets on Wednesdays nights rather than Sundays. (Our pastor is also the lead pastor at The City Church in Seattle and he preaches there on Sundays, so he's in LA on Wednesdays, for those of you that might still be scratching your heads.)
Over the past few years, Wednesday night has become a ritual, something I love and look forward to each week. It's not about the act of simply "going to church" to keep up appearances, or feeling obligated just to appease my mom, grandma, or anyone else who might be watching. It's not about what anyone thinks or doesn't think of me. It's not an event to fill up my social calendar. (Although the fellowship is definitely an upside!)
I go church on Wednesdays to hear God's message, to sing (completely off pitch - sorry neighbor!) and worship Him, to give thanks for all that He has done and continues to do in my life, and to feel uplifted by the positive energy from all of the beautiful people in the room. It's my weekly reset, my recharge, my renewal. It reignites the fire in my soul. It's the light that casts out the darkness when times are tough. It helps restore my hope when I feel down. Picks me up when I have fallen and cannot find the strength to stand on my own. Gives me direction when I feel lost or unsure. Reminds me of my truth and that I am a living, breathing miracle. It provides me with meaning and purpose and keeps me grounded. It's the foundation on which I continue to build life.
Normally Pastor Judah delivers the message, but tonight we had the privilege to hear from Dr. John Perkins. I was so deeply moved by the message(s) he shared with us, I felt compelled to share. My exact words to my dear friend Morgan on the ride home (we carpool in her super adorable, brand new white jeep...yes, that detail is absolutely necessary!) were, "I wish I had a blog to share what we just heard!" I was so energized, my mind started racing...Should I send a mass email to my random list of contacts? Post something obnoxiously long on Facebook and attach a cute photo? Call everyone I know and tell them one by one? Some of you might be taken by complete surprise that you're still in my contact list after all these years - that could have been fun!
...but then I remembered, oh that's right I do have a blog!
If you're reading this for the first time, you might confused, so let me quickly get you up to speed. This blog was started almost four years ago now (whoa, it's really been four years?!) as a way for me to share my "new" California life with my family back home in Iowa. (Hence the name, which I thought was kind of clever at the time.) I quickly learned there are not enough hours in a day for me to tell the same stories to my mom, dad, sisters and brother, dog, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and friends, about all the fun and exciting things I was doing in LA. And it was when my Grandpa Arlin said he just wished he knew what I was up to out here, that inspired me to take action.
I started this little blog to primarily share pictures and stories from my experiences; to connect my 'old' world with my 'new' world. It was a success, for a short while at least. I'm not sure who actually stopped by, and I didn't care about how many unique visitors I got per month. If nothing else I could always count on my mom, grandparents, and maybe a friend or two to check it out, and that was enough for me.
But what was once bright, shiny, and "new" about life in Los Angeles soon became normal and ordinary (to me at least). Grandpa has since passed away, and my efforts towards my blog have fizzled out completely. In fact, right before I started writing this I looked back to see when I last posted, and it was right after my 25th birthday. Coincidentally, my 26th is just around the corner...t minus 26 days to be exact. (Strange coincidence.)
Short story long, I'm hopping back on, at least for tonight. No, this blog isn't a huge platform, nor do I have thousands (or even hundreds) of followers. This isn't intended to be some strange sermon-like post. I'm not trying to preach to you or tell you what you should or shouldn't believe. And I won't come close to fully articulating what Dr. Perkins shared.
Instead, my goal is rather simple: to share the love and joy that has been ignited deep inside my soul and has me wide awake in the wee hours of the night.
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Dr. John Perkins is a minister, civil rights activist, theologian, philosopher, author, and community developer. Throughout his 85 years of life, Dr. Perkins has experienced incredible pain and tragedy - his mother died when he was only seven months old, he and his siblings were abandoned by their father and were then raised by his grandparents who were sharecroppers, at 16-years-old he witnessed the fatal shooting of his brother by a police officer, and he was arrested and tortured at the age of 40 by white police officers after leading an economic boycott. Many of us would likely have gone astray or become hardened after experiencing even one of those hardships. I mean, I will be honest here. I have questioned God's plan at every twist and turn, especially throughout these past 10 months. Not only have I questioned, but I have doubted and at times I have gotten angry. I questioned God when I got rejected from job opportunities time after time after time again...when I could barely afford the most basic living expenses...when my heart was broken into a million tiny pieces...when I was literally homeless and using my car as my closet...when two very meaningful friendships fell apart at the seams...when I have failed to reach the personal or professional goals I had set for myself...the list goes on. All of these things, which seem minor and trivial relatively speaking, have caused me to doubt my faith and question God's intention for my life.
I'm not sharing this so we can compare hardships, your life to mine or mine to Dr. Perkins, but rather as an attempt to put things into perspective and maybe even inspire. Despite all of the pain, all of the tragedy, all of the hardship in Dr. Perkins' life, he is a man who lives each day with abundant love - love for people and love for Jesus. And if he can find joy and passion and strength and meaning after all he's been through, I think we can, too.
- On giving --- No one has ever been made poor by giving to the poor.
- On inequality --- So much of our effort is spent trying to fix the system. You cannot fix a system with another system. Instead we to come together to fix the problem itself.
- On leadership --- A true leader turns vision into passion...and passion is when you put yourself in the pain of others.
- On finding your true self --- When you find God, then you will find yourself.
- On prayer --- When you pray you must listen for the will of God to you personally. We can ask him simply, "What must I do?"
- On strength --- The joy of the Lord is our strength.
Afterwards we were able to say hello and get a signed copy of his book, which was really neat. When it was our turn, Dr. Perkins paused from signing for a brief moment to tell us that it wasn't until he moved to California that he found himself, discovered his faith, and grew as an individual. This alone touched our hearts and was very powerful to hear, because Morgan and I have had many conversations about how much we've grown since we moved to Los Angeles almost four years ago. Sure, we've always believed, but it was here where we truly began a deeper, more meaningful relationship with Jesus. We've learned so much through our experiences and our hardships, and as we've found God, we too have found ourselves.
I leave you with the same simple message Dr. Perkins left us: Let your life be defined by love and not hate.
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